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trust issues?

# 1  04/09/2013 14:26

63

Can't trust anyone because of previous relationships.. to me sounds like a lot of emotional baggage.
My suggestin, don't date, work it out first

Give kudos

# 2  04/09/2013 18:29

102

i'd say you were a mug...........

# 3  09/09/2013 11:31

20

It's good that you are trying to get over it and you realize what holds you back. I think you have to understand that and take some real actions to address the fears which are holding you back. I hope that helps to make sense of this.

# 4  09/09/2013 13:57

37

why choose an unhappy person when there are plenty of happy people to choose from

# 5  03/10/2013 01:50

20

Try taking people as they are.  Why should they be trustworthy by your judgement?  Why should they be subject to your judgement in anything?  You could find out what they are like, how they want to be and what they will do for you; then, if it isn't adequate for you in some way, don't pursue them.  If you put people in a corner, or pressure them in some way, or to be a certain way, don't expect them to be free and open with you.
It is sad that you have needs that stem from something you can't handle, but it is not experience alone that created them; you had a part in it, too.  Be honest with people when you begin a relationship, of any sort, and let them determine what their response is.  You had better not tell them how they should be - no-one tells me, and I consider myself an honest and trustworthy person.  I am always willing to articulate my justifications for my actions, and expect to be given the chance.
I hope you find someone who behaves the way you want, but not so that they just give you permission to be the way you are.  You should always keep trying to be better, and I think this is one of those things that you have to address; you will be better for having looked honestly and hard at yourself.
I was so bad when I got divorced, I got drunk for 15 years.  I woke up middle aged, having missed all the preparation for it; I didn't know how to behave.  I did the critical analysis of myself, it wasn't pretty, and gained some understanding.  Not just of what had happened to me, but what I could be and what a worm I had been, when I crawled into the bottle.
I still struggle.  You have my sympathy, without empowerment, insofar as I can understand your problems, and I wish you luck on your journey - if you ever take the first step.  The alternative is to stay as you are.

# 6  03/10/2013 09:48

3

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

trust is a huge thing when dating 
its all about whether its worth the risk  life is like that.....................

# 7  24/10/2013 03:49

1

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

You need to redeveloped your own security and be happy within yourself before you can trust or date another person . I am divorced twice with both exes in relationships and I am happy for them but I am also happy with myself and my decisions . Don't let your partners destroy your confidence because I am sure you are a good person

# 8  24/10/2013 14:29

2

My ex wife cheated on me and broke my heart. I thought I would never survive. It's not easy, but it does get easier to cope with each passing day. What scares me is that I don't know if I would be able to completely trust someone again.

# 9  25/10/2013 10:21

22

I have always easily trusted and get stomped on.

From now on... trust is going to be earned.

# 10  05/11/2013 09:08

1

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

hello you look very pretty I have the same thoughts as you I find it difficult communivating on here would you mind exchanging mobilr numbers as I don't want to lose you thank you so uch alan xxxx

# 11  14/11/2013 09:06

1

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

take ever one with a pinch of salt , and hope that some day someone  who you can trust  will come along..[i have been on my own now for about  25yrs.  now ] bryan

# 12  14/11/2013 20:22

1

brian wrote:

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

take ever one with a pinch of salt , and hope that some day someone  who you can trust  will come along..[i have been on my own now for about  25yrs.  now ] bryan

# 13  21/11/2013 19:21

2

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

do agree
                  where do you live is it near lowestoft please

# 14  21/11/2013 19:30

2

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

i want only freindship and near where i live in lowestoft so he can go home to his house to sleep

# 15  12/12/2013 22:40

1

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

[Your post has been edited. Contact details are not allowed on the forum. Respectfully, Moderator]

# 16  19/12/2013 11:13

1

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

YES, IT IS DIFFICULT TO TRUST AGAIN  I WAS MARRIED FOR 33 YEARS AND HAVE BEEN SEPARATED FOR 2 YEARS.  BUT I NEED TO LEARN TO TRUST AS OTHERWISE I WILL REMAIN SINGLE.  KNOWING OTHERS HAVE ALSO BEEN IN THE SAME PLACE CAN HELP AND MAKE YOU FEEL LESS ISOLATED THOUGH?  BEST WISHES.

# 17  02/01/2014 02:13

3

Gramayr wrote:

the sad thing is that I am trying to work this issue out but when you constantly get stood up or lied to, it does affect how you are around people..

it good that he can tell you that cause most guy hide it and put on a tough guy act , yes and as for the being stood up that's not nice know how you feel ive been there and had it done to me to