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if your partner was on dating sites and in a relationship....

# 1  16/11/2013 12:53

1

Is it cheating if I'm on dating sites and in a relationship?
I told my girlfriend I am only on here to look at nude photos of women and not be in contact with anyone.
What are your thoughts?

Give kudos

# 2  16/11/2013 21:25

7

marktheman*3 wrote:

Is it cheating if I'm on dating sites and in a relationship?
I told my girlfriend I am only on here to look at nude photos of women and not be in contact with anyone.
What are your thoughts?

Yes i feel its a form of cheating as you arnt happy in the relationship to look elsewhere, to get your kicks!

# 3  17/11/2013 17:54

1

From personal experience this can be very destructive and abusive behaviour.
Maybe if you are in an open relationship and open and honest about your dating site activities, AND it doesn't hurt your partner, then OK... each to their own.
Thing is, you may not know the ramifications of what you've done - your partner may not have told you everything about their own life experience. There may be deep hurt and damage from the past that they do their best to keep hidden.
In my case I got caught up with a guy - I personally wasn't actually after anything too serious, but all the impetus came from his direction - calling and texting me every day, wanting to hang out with me every weekend etc. We were going out for about 4 months. It was fine to have an unanticipated 'boyfriend', but there were some aspects to his personality and life philosophy that DID bother me. He was quite 'backwards', is the only way I can describe it...  It was, in hindsight, like dating someone from the 1950s . The more I got to know him, the more I saw through his 'new age wanker' act - he'd come out with statements like 'Women are responsible for ALL violence in the world' (he was aware that I was a victim of serious domestic violence for 13 years - was he actually saying it was my fault?) and 'ALL women are parasites' (the whole time I knew him he couldn't afford to get his own car fixed and was borrowing one from his female flatmate! Also, he couldn't get any credit, so got a loan, again through his female flatmate... WTF?). After hanging out with me at my place one entire weekend, I'm making coffee Monday morning, and he's in my living room chatting up women.
It shows intense disrespect, and in the case of this individual (hopefully NOT representative), it was intentionally disrespectful and cruel. I know this because I asked for an apology which he didn't have the guts to give, so he got dumped immediately.
This can be extremely abusive and damaging for someone who comes into a relationship with sincerity.
Just be careful. Be kind.

# 4  18/11/2013 12:36

244

for me it is definitely wrong. i would question how stable the relationship is if one partner needs to be on a dating site.

# 5  18/11/2013 13:29

3

then hi has betrayed my trust...if thats the deal. u should pherhaps make shure just by asking ure partner...

# 6  21/12/2013 09:05

1

Reno_Sacramento wrote:

Beautiful-life wrote:

for me it is definitely wrong. i would question how stable the relationship is if one partner needs to be on a dating site.

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Exactly!

# 7  22/12/2013 06:48

6



Of course its wrong , why in the world would anyone feel the need to be on a sight If they were perfectly happy being with the one they are with ?

they must think that  if they can give you an excuse and you fall for it,  making it easier get away  for when he does find some one he thinks he likes better, he can then make a clean getaway.

Happy people don't need outside stimulant or wast their time when it should be spent with the one their with.

# 8  11/01/2014 16:22

1

Elaine51 wrote:

marktheman*3 wrote:

Is it cheating if I'm on dating sites and in a relationship?
I told my girlfriend I am only on here to look at nude photos of women and not be in contact with anyone.
What are your thoughts?

Yes i feel its a form of cheating as you arnt happy in the relationship to look elsewhere, to get your kicks!

My boyfriend was on a bunch of dating sites and it didn't bother me at first but yes I agree it is cheating because it was making me feel bad about myself.