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Successful attractive women can't get a date

# 1  05/08/2012 12:35

18

No man wants to have a woman leech off of him, but they also don't want to be treated like a muppet there for your enjoyment. Men tend to think in more tangible concrete manners than women- they still want to be the protector and provider. But to be there for your amusement is demeaning. Maybe they don't find you intimidating, maybe they just find you offensive.

Give kudos

# 2  05/08/2012 21:36

2

Samantha__1985 wrote:

I'm a very successful CEO and I really try to avoid the job topic. As soon as the men who have average jobs hear this they get nervous around me and talk about how much more they want in life and hate their job etc. They end up saying they don't think it's a good idea to date anymore because they aren't comfortable with my success while they have nothing to give me.. They say I deserve better and can get better. I try to be bubbly and focus on the good and ignore the job thing. I really need the fun guy in my life..How can I get past this job/income thing with men?

It's not u, some men can't get over the fact u make more is true. But a real men who sure in his menhood will see past your job and get to know you for the women you  are, he's out there.

# 3  06/08/2012 13:52

2

I think men intimidated by sucessful women are intimidated in general..they have to much fear.  Personally I love highly sucessful well educated cultured women...even if i am not to the same extent..i view it as an opportunity to enrich my life as well as thiers by shared experinences..why not find the positive with positive people.  Money and sucess are only a small fraction of living ur life.  I think sucesful women are great  and a man can only benefit by being in thier company.

# 4  08/08/2012 12:19

18

This is a perfect example of dating out of your league, i.e. the guys you've been dating are not in your league. You're always going to have this problem if you continually seek guys who are not in your league.You really should be dating guys who have achieved a similar level of success as yourself because those guys can relate to you better. The more you have in common, the higher the probability of a long lasting relationship.

# 5  10/08/2012 09:49

1

Ive been in both positions, having a higher income than my significant other and the opposite - she making more than me. I cant speak for others. I know that I felt bad that I couldn't afford some things I would've liked to do with her or get for her but having that momentary monetary underachievement did not affect in any way how our personalities and chemistry danced.

I see a great many people overestimating the "hollywood love". There is no happily ever after, there is communication, understanding and compromise necessary in every relationship; mother-son, husband-wife, and gf-bf. there is no instant gratification in any relationship that is worthwhile, there is growth or what you see - dismissal.

# 6  11/08/2012 12:34

6

Samantha__1985 wrote:

I'm a very successful CEO and I really try to avoid the job topic. As soon as the men who have average jobs hear this they get nervous around me and talk about how much more they want in life and hate their job etc. They end up saying they don't think it's a good idea to date anymore because they aren't comfortable with my success while they have nothing to give me.. They say I deserve better and can get better. I try to be bubbly and focus on the good and ignore the job thing. I really need the fun guy in my life..How can I get past this job/income thing with men?

dating is separte from your job .if you want to date with someone its not neccessary u r a CEO of big corporate or a clerk in small company

for me not a matter youa are CEO or clerk if i want date with u then i will go with you and we enjoy our date and on date we are not talking about our jobs we just talk abt each other living styles ,likes and dislikes

# 7  12/08/2012 09:43

5

I always believe that love comes from the heart and spirit,
not from a bank account or any type of material wealth.

What you should do is leave your job talk back at your work-place
and talk about what you enjoy doing in your spare time,
such as hobbies, travel, movies, sports...Ya' know, fun things.
Perhaps you might land a bachelor hunk who has similar intrerests.

But avoid talking about anything financial...
That would only lead to disaster.

Also: I'm in a standard profile format and thus,
I don't have any way of upgrading to full premium membership.
And so, The only way for me to reach out, would be here in the forum boards.

# 8  16/08/2012 05:59

1

Reading everything going on, bashing you for being successful and bashing the guys for not being successful, I think there was a main point in there.

You said that they wanted to better themselves for you.

Take it as a compliment.  I personally get more motivated when I want to do something and have no expectations to do so.  I say find a guy who understands you and your jobs and takes your success as motivation rather than an expectation.

# 9  22/12/2012 17:30

3

Reading through all the responses, I feel badly that there are so many insults thrown at Samantha.  She is asking a question and hoping to get some genuinely well-thought out responses.  I don't have any great words of wisdom myself, but I can say that I am quite successful myself, and by and large, most of the men that I have met have been quite happy with it and even proud.  I think some of it has to do with their own self esteem, but a lot of it also has to do with the fact that I try not to make them ever feel that I am any better than them because I may have a more successful career or perhaps more financially secure than they may be.  I do admit that I try to downplay my career while highlighting who I am a person, and that may be something you can try to focus on.  Bring the attention away from finances and career, and bring the focus to something much more meaningful and I can almost guarantee you will have better results.  I wish you the best!  Cheers, Raine.

# 10  30/12/2012 02:48

1

For me personally at 21 years of age and being a Young Entrepreneur it's hard to relate people my age sometimes just talking about the staggering stock market so I've been trying to get better at that. For you personally you should simplify things if you already haven't. Transportation,Dining,Activities,etc to meet the average mans standards and expectations.   Also keeping the three letters ''CEO'' out of the conversation until it got serious. Replace it with ''Manager'' or a lower position in the company. Best of luck.

# 11  30/12/2012 04:18

4

Well Samantha, you are who you are. You are educated, you are smart, you are beautiful and you are a CEO. All these combined put you to the very edge of the bell curve (sorry for the scientific lingo, lets say you are very unique). People who are in the middle of the curve can easily find a lot of people who are similar to them, i.e. suitable for them, who are "in their league". You being so far away from the average simply decreases the statistical probability that you meet someone who will be your equal. Not necessarily in terms of finances, but in every other psychological measure of personality. So, you can do two things:

1. Be patient, until you find the guy who is your equal. Not necessarily in wealth, but someone who does not get intimidated by your success and earnings, and measures up to you in IQ, EQ and self esteem. This way you could have an honest, rewarding relationship.

2. Pretend to be someone that you are not, get the guy and suffer for eternity by having to guard yourself 24/7, just to make sure that you do not intimidate him away from you.

Holly!! I ended up being a bit long winded.

# 12  15/01/2013 12:14

1

Absolutely stay true to yourself.  Don't dumb yourself down or minimize your accomplishments to find someone. However it's damned lonely by times. People seem to have a lot of barriers nowadays, and it seems harder, not easier to create opportunities to meet people.  I don't know if someone will eventually come along or not...I definitely hope so....but settling for something less than compatible isn't the answer.  Good luck to you...and to anyone who encounters difficulty in finding the right opportunity.

# 13  18/01/2013 15:53

20

i do agree with afew of the toppics about finacial matters  and to me  its allways talking about a  check book  or bank account   and with all what has to do with finanances  money is more like a luxerey  not  something like  you just buy love for what ever price gets tossed  at a man and  what ever job thay have and it really souldnt be  in the picture   and mostley that why men do get nurvus about dateing or being in a successfull relationship  and thay  just go with  weman who understrand them more and dose not take them for ther bank account  but for the true  feelings what is offered to them  and  thats why  thers so much problems because its all about money  not  something serius   im not really bashing but  its the truth  to why  it is worded

# 14  18/01/2013 18:35

2

Samantha__1985 wrote:

I'm a very successful CEO and I really try to avoid the job topic. As soon as the men who have average jobs hear this they get nervous around me and talk about how much more they want in life and hate their job etc. They end up saying they don't think it's a good idea to date anymore because they aren't comfortable with my success while they have nothing to give me.. They say I deserve better and can get better. I try to be bubbly and focus on the good and ignore the job thing. I really need the fun guy in my life..How can I get past this job/income thing with men?

Dear Samantha,

It is really sad that you did not get what you deserve. But in the life beyond your job you need to be more honest to the relationship rather that the Job itself. A successful CEO can manage the whole affairs of the corporate : likewise she can also manage the relationship also. TRY in that way with out hurting your partner. Share life but not sorrow.

XAXAN

# 15  27/01/2013 20:22

1

Samantha__1985 wrote:

I'm a very successful CEO and I really try to avoid the job topic. As soon as the men who have average jobs hear this they get nervous around me and talk about how much more they want in life and hate their job etc. They end up saying they don't think it's a good idea to date anymore because they aren't comfortable with my success while they have nothing to give me.. They say I deserve better and can get better. I try to be bubbly and focus on the good and ignore the job thing. I really need the fun guy in my life..How can I get past this job/income thing with men?

I wish you lived closer to me. There are so many things to talk about and experience. I wonder, just being you should be enough.  A good one will appear. Patience.

# 16  04/02/2013 22:00

5

amycheers wrote:

This is a perfect example of dating out of your league, i.e. the guys you've been dating are not in your league. You're always going to have this problem if you continually seek guys who are not in your league.You really should be dating guys who have achieved a similar level of success as yourself because those guys can relate to you better. The more you have in common, the higher the probability of a long lasting relationship.

Amy not all guys r like that, maybe her success is going to her head an she is showing it when she is on a date

# 17  23/10/2013 07:21

3

i myself love that a woman can be sussful and she sould be proud of that herself. a man that feels like he sould make all the money  is very small mined i think myself. ladys walk with your head up proud and show people how grate you are to have gotten so far in a so called mans world.

# 18  23/10/2013 07:28

3

CheersGirl wrote:

Absolutely stay true to yourself.  Don't dumb yourself down or minimize your accomplishments to find someone. However it's damned lonely by times. People seem to have a lot of barriers nowadays, and it seems harder, not easier to create opportunities to meet people.  I don't know if someone will eventually come along or not...I definitely hope so....but settling for something less than compatible isn't the answer.  Good luck to you...and to anyone who encounters difficulty in finding the right opportunity.

how true your words are. dont belittle your self to please anyone

# 19  23/10/2013 07:33

3

sfraine wrote:

Reading through all the responses, I feel badly that there are so many insults thrown at Samantha.  She is asking a question and hoping to get some genuinely well-thought out responses.  I don't have any great words of wisdom myself, but I can say that I am quite successful myself, and by and large, most of the men that I have met have been quite happy with it and even proud.  I think some of it has to do with their own self esteem, but a lot of it also has to do with the fact that I try not to make them ever feel that I am any better than them because I may have a more successful career or perhaps more financially secure than they may be.  I do admit that I try to downplay my career while highlighting who I am a person, and that may be something you can try to focus on.  Bring the attention away from finances and career, and bring the focus to something much more meaningful and I can almost guarantee you will have better results.  I wish you the best!  Cheers, Raine.

i agree with you on the advise Raine but you sould not have to down play about your career ether . be proud of your success. mike